Tag Archives: news

What Part Of “No” Don’t You Understand?

If only I were king - NO THANK YOU!

If only I were king – NO THANK YOU!

Daily Prompt: New Internet Order

All the world’s countries have decided that the Internet itself needs a government. Your country asks you to run for Prime Minister of the ‘Net — do you accept? If so, what will your platform be?

No.

If anything beyond that is said it gives the impression of the possibility of being persuaded in some way. Sense I did write something beyond “No” does that mean persuasion is possible?

No.

I just wanted to write something.

Now that I have the floor.

Humans (you and me) do a terrible job of governing. Every government ever was folly. That said, I’m glad it’s around. Without it, no streets, utilities, police, firemen, schools, etc. There has to be some sort of central planning and protective authority.

During 6,000 of recorded human endeavor every sort of governing instrument has been attempted: monarchies, aristocracies, bureaucracies, socialism, communism, dictatorships, republics, democracies, federations, etc. They have at least two things in common; they fail and they continually grasp for more power.

Winston Churchill said, “Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Gov­ern­ment except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.…” Democracy is rule by consensus. In other words; sway the majority or yield to what seems vogue or popular at the time.

That’s scary. That is the sober reality.

There is an unassailable truth from the Bible; Ecclesiastes 8:9 “…man has dominated man to his injury.”

Jesus had a very simple solution; “Pay back, therefore, Caesar’s things to Caesar, but God’s things to God.” (Matthew 22:21) He likewise told his followers to pray for God’s kingdom; “Let your kingdom come. Let your will take place, as in heaven, also upon earth.” (Matthew 6:10)

And somebody wants me to rule the internet; I can’t even organize my home-page.

 

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2016 – The Way We Is

september-2016-calendar-4[1]Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow

Our blogs morph over time, as interests shift and life happens. Write a post for your blog — but three years in the future.

Well, here we are in 2016:

Al Gore is predicting a global winter for the next thousand years.

The NRA is issuing a fully automatic assault weapon to every newborn.

The U. S. has ask the U. N. for sanctions against the city of Chicago; rival gangs are using poisonous gas instead of bullets.

The population of Detroit is 14, whoops 13; that was a bag of cloths.

Presidential candidates are offering forty acres and a mule for a vote.

Soccer still sucks no matter how hard ESPN and the news media try to shove it down our throats.

Female sports casters still stink no matter how hard ESPN and the news media try to shove it down our throats.

Bernie Madoff receives a Presidential Pardon.

I become more cynical.

Jimmy Hoffa’s DNA shows up in McDonalds’ Big Mac.

The Jittery Goat has 1,000,000 follows and 23 views a day.

I’m blogging once a week now, because I have a life.

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News From Boise

Some see a shovel, others see a deadly weapon.

Some see a shovel, others see a deadly weapon.

There was so little going on in Boise this past week that they had to go to the east coast to get some sort of news.

On one of the TV channels (the one that starts with K), they reported the impending blizzard in the east would impact Boise. That’s a stretch. The report went on to say the airlines would be backed up and eventually effect flights leaving Boise.

How far away does a storm have to be before it doesn’t effect Boise? In fact storms in Boise have less impact on Boise than a nor‘easter on the Maine coast.

Would a typhoon in the Maldives effect Boise too?

This past week there was a machete attack on a man.

It is strange; there are all these guns out there and a man chooses a machete. Would you rather be hacked to death like a stock of sugar cane or shot like deer in the crosshairs? For that reason alone I’m all for guns in the hands of private citizens.

A local school was on lock-down this yesterday. It seems that a student brought a shovel to school as a part of a school project. I guess there is something worse than being hacked to death by a machete. The shovel is kind of the all-in-one weapon; after you beat them to death you have something useful to dispose of the body.

I’m still perplexed as to what the school project was all about, but wherever you see shovels and machetes in the same proximity a peasant rebellion is not far behind.

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Global Warming Hasn’t Reached Boise Yet

I like to call this Idaho's version of an Al Gore house warming.

I like to call this Idaho’s version of an Al Gore house-warming.

It was another cold week in Boise.

The city of Boise has already exhausted its snow removal and deicing budget for next three centuries. It currently stands at $14.87 a year for materials. That’s three gallons of gas and a forty pound bag of salt.

The current theory on snow removal is; by the time we call in the drivers, gas the trucks, load them with deicer, and hit the streets the snow will have melted – so why try.

Back in the Midwest they call the snowplows out as soon as organized labor unions tell them. Which is never when it snows. It’s too hazardous. The unions always look out for their members.

The time to start plowing roads is before it snows. That way the roads are damaged by the plows and must be repaired by union employees come Spring. Unions always create employment opportunities.

Boise needs unions so it can become another Detroit.

The weather back East is warmer than normal. That’s because of climate change. Change comes slowly to Boise. They’re still some denying the new ice age predictions from the 70’s.

Somebody shot a dog in Boise this past week.

There is a thousand dollar reward for the shooter. That’s twice as much as for the last unsolved murder case of a human.

A few weeks ago somebody broke into the zoo and killed a monkey.

Here in Boise, animal murders make the news all the time. This is a tough city.

They say that psychopathic murderers start with animals. If you live in another state other than Idaho and see a car with Idaho plates, don’t get in the car.

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What’s Up Boise?

This is my backyard. I know it's not a lot of snow. I hope it's just enough snow the keep the Californians away.

This is my backyard. I know it’s not a lot of snow. I hope it’s just enough snow to keep the Californians away.

This past week it snowed in Boise. That’s the news.

Most folks say it’s nature’s way of telling Californians to go back to California.

They’ve tried to protest and legislate against snow. That’s how they get their way in California. If you don’t like something or you do like something; just change the law. All it takes is a celebrity and a petition.

Idaho doesn’t have celebrities. Idahoans don’t want to be recognized. Californians will have to bring in a celebrity.

Californians have brought all sorts of new ideas to Boise; like vanity plates. I’m convinced that the only reason why they moved to Boise is because the plates they wanted had already been taken in California.

Anyone with vanity plates has a California connection; it’s a fact.

They brought their fancy gourmet coffee shops too, with their lattés, cappuccinos, and espressos.

You ask for a coffee and some sweety with a pierced nose, lip, and belly button, tattoos, green hair, and a nasally vocal fry says, “What kind?”

“Coffee is a flavor! Ya don’t take an order for apple pie and ask ‘what flavor?’”

“Really?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of coffee-flavored ice cream?”

“Why?”

“Let me see your driver’s license. I bet they’re still California.”

All the things they hated and left California for, they now miss and want to see in Idaho. They’re even sponsoring the trafficking of illegal Mexicans so it has the feel of home. (It’s not the Mexican part, it’s the illegal part. Californians love all things illegal.) There is serious talk on how to create an unstable tectonic plate to replicate the much missed earthquakes.

images[1]Incidentally, there was some news from downtown.

Boise’s most famous landmark is a big hole. It is more like a dent in the landscape. Nobody seems to know what to do with it.

Well, that’s not quite true.

It’s become such a big part of the Boise downtown landscape it would be criminal to do anything with it. I say put a lampshade on it and let’s party (I’m starting to be influenced by Californians).

They’re now constructing a building on it. I’m afraid it’s going to attract more Californians.

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The Twinkie; Our Finest Hour About To Tick Away

The Twinkie; start storing-up. They won’t lose their freshness – ever!

The Twinkie can’t go. Rumor has it they’re going bankrupt.

I’d like to know where all the Twinkie profits went? Start checking off-shore accounts. There has to be some hanky panky going on. Maybe they’re trying to drive up the demand for larger profits.

Where’s the government on this issue. Don’t they realize a Twinkie shortage could be devastating. When the Twinkies run out half the kids in America will go without breakfast. You stuff one in your mouth for breakfast and have the other on the way to school or save it for a mid morning sugar rush.

Where was this during the Presidential debates. Of all people, it looked like Candy Crowley should have brought this up. It looks as if she’ll be the first to suffer from Twinkie withdraw.

A national crisis is looming and the news is obsessed with Benghazi, Petraeus, and Broadwell. Those stories are all diversions to the real issue; What are we going to do without Twinkies?

If GM and Chrysler can get a bail-out why not Twinkie? That goes to show where the nation’s priorities are.

On the other hand, remember Al Gore? He went on a life mission after being defeated in the Presidential election of 2000. He grew a beard, meditated, and reinvented himself as the Global Warming Guru. If Mitt Romney is looking for a cause this could be it; Save the Twinkie. After all he saved the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. Sure, he may have to outsource to China, but there will still be Twinkies.

I still have my first Twinkie. It’s fifty-five years old and as fresh as the day I bought it. I put it in our family’s fall-out shelter in the 50s. If I should die before it is consumed a generation a thousand years from now will be able to eat it with the same freshness as it had the day I bought it. And they will have to proclaim, “This was their finest hour.”

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Beware Of Bicycle Friendly Cities

Don’t look so bike friendly to me.

Boise is a bike friendly city. What that means is that bike riders can run roughshod over vehicle and pedestrian traffic.

A few years ago in a span of about four months there were three deaths of bicyclists in the area. There pictures were on the nightly news. Everyone of them was dressed in some sort of bicycle racing uniforms. They were all competitive cyclists. Could it be they were a bit too comfortable with their skills?

The response of politicians and law enforcement was decisive and swift; more tickets were issued to motorists.

Last May I came to a stop at an intersection. The light was red. On the other side of the street speeding in the same direction I was traveling was a guy on a bicycle. He was on the sidewalk. He looked like he was nearing the finish line of the Tour de France (drugged and everything). It was roid rage on wheels. A car to my right, who had the green light, drove through the intersection. In a flash I thought, ’this can not end good.’ The bicyclist and motorist were on a collision course. The car always wins.

The car struck the bicyclist who was crossing the cross walk against a red light. He was hurled at least ten feet into the air and fell hard to the pavement.

I called 911 and ran across the street. An off-duty nurse was already attending to the bicyclist.

The driver was a tearful and near hysterical older female.

A man approached the woman and said, “Ma’am, I saw the whole thing and it was his fault. You had the right of way. There was nothing you could have done.”

The elderly lady looked compassionately at the bicyclist laying quietly on the pavement and said, “But that doesn’t do him any good.”

The bicyclist was on the wrong side of the street. He did not observe the light. He was speeding on the sidewalk with a bike lane available. Thank goodness he wasn’t driving the car that hit him.

Today I was sitting in a car at curb talking with a friend. My friend was in the driver’s seat. A bicyclist raced by so closely his jacked brushed against the side view mirror. After traveling about one hundred yards. He looped into the middle of the street in order to make a right turn. The problem was that a motorist was right on his tail. The motorist stopped averting a terrible accident. The bicyclist looked indignantly at the motorist and peddled on.

This past weekend I was driving on one of those streets that have a bike lane. I call them the pathway to hell. If you’re going to die and go to hell, it will happen there. In the pathway to hell was a guy peddling a bike without the use of his hands. The circus was in town months ago and left this guy behind. His hands were occupied by holding a coffee, reading and texting on his Smartphone (considering the situation, not smart). In addition he was listening to music through his earphones.

It made me wonder with all the functions and calculations the brain was orchestrating at one time which one of his body functions were suffering most?

He looked to me like the type of guy who would go home and one of his kids would ask him for help with their homework at the same time his wife would ask him to take out the garbage. His reply would be, “I only got two hands. I can’t do everything at once.”

Maybe it’s just me (and it always is), but I think it’s the Chinese. They’re not only exporting microwaves, TVs, and computers, but they won’t be happy until rickshaws and bicycles take over our cities. The United States is now importing the Chinese culture.

That’s something to think about the next time you see a bicycle lane and Panda Express.

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