Tag Archives: food

A Day With Chef Rene

th[8]The studio lights shined brightly on a newly equipped and up-to-date kitchen. It was the first episode of a new TV food program, A Day With Chef Rene. The host was Car Bumgard who had hosted several other flops.

“Chef Rene we are so proud to have you with us today, our first episode of A Day With Chef Rene.” Carl said. “As you can see the kitchen is all set and we are ready for you to create.”

“It is my pleasure to be here before your television audience,” Chef Rene said with a slight French accent.

“Before you begin, perhaps I can inform the viewing audience of your background,” Carl said.

“It is you program,” Chef Rene said.

“Not really,“ Carl said out of the side of mouth and continued. “Chef Rene learned the art and craft of food preparation from his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, all world renowned chefs. Chef Rene graduated from the French School of Culinary Arts in Paris, he has authored over twenty books on cuisine, he is the advisor for many international cooking institutes, he has prepared foods for nearly every head of state, he has his own line of cookware, and owns some of the best restaurants in Europe and the United States. Did I leave anything out?”

“I am also on the board of directors of several international restaurant chains,” Chef Rene said.

“Of course,” Carl said. “How could I forget.”

“I also produced this program,” Chef Rene said.

“Yes,” Carl said.

“And I own this network,” Chef Rene said.

“Yes,” Carl said and smiled uncomfortably.

“We start the show,” Chef Rene said.

“Yes, of course,” Carl said. “Ahem, ahem, The expression is often used, ‘the best thing since sliced bread.’ If anyone knows there is something better than slice bread it would be you, Chef Rene.”

“Yes,” Chef Rene said. “I would be the one. No one else knows cooking like Chef Rene.”

“So that is what our program is about today,” Carl said. “So, Chef Rene, I’m going to turn it over to you.”

“Yes,” Chef Rene said. “Now please hand me two slices of the already sliced bread.”

Carl handed it to him.

“Now lay them out flat like this,” Chef Rene said. “Take a smear of you favorite jelly, which is in my case grape, and smear two heaping tablespoons on one slice. Now put and equal amount of peanut butter on the other slice. Slap them to gather, thus. Pour 8 ounces of milk in a glass and go to town.”

“But, Chef Rene,” Carl said. “That is nothing more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“You are correct,” Chef Rene said. “And nobody has ever been able to come up with a better taste combination. Without the sliced bread we would have never had it.”

“That’s it for today, friends,” Carl said. “Be sure to return next week with Chef Rene and me when we will present…

“The best thing since canned beer,” Chef Rene said.

(Posted as a Daily Prompt)

(Posted at 365 Writing Prompts)

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15 Comments

Filed under Daily Prompt, Short Stories

A Story Of Ice Cream and Passion; Redheads, Brown Cows, and Sister Char

 Flavor #32

A local ice cream parlor invites you to create a new wacky flavor. It needs to channel the very essence of your personality. What’s in it?

An old El Dora milk wagon, once drawn by a horse. This marked the entrance to the El Dora ice cream stand in the early 50s.

An old El Dora milk wagon, once drawn by a horse. This marked the entrance to the El Dora ice cream stand in the early 50s.

(This was posted before, perhaps you missed it, but it is a favorite of mine. It reminds me of my sister.)

In the early fifties, it was a treat for the whole family to get into the car and drive to the El Dora. It was a dairy on Cable Road near the corner of Allentown Road west of Lima, Ohio. Inside the front entrance a long counter stretched with an enormous number of flavored ice creams in five-gallon containers. An iron railing bolted into the floor guided patrons and acted as a crowd control so the next person only approached the counter. Behind the counter, a glass wall separated the ice cream parlor from a full view of the area where the cows were led to be milked. Our family scheduled visits at milking time. Thinking back on this it seems a bit crude and bizarre arranging our day to be there with the certain expectation of watching cows do what cows do do (if you get my point and pardon the pun).

Our family was solidly split when it came to ice cream preferences. Dad and my oldest sister, Becky, always got ‘brown cows.’ They were a thick chocolate frosty – thicker than a shake and thinner than hard-packed ice cream served in a cup. Mom, my sister, Char, and I always ordered a scrumptious ice cream delight called a ‘redhead’ served in a cone.

As years passed the El Dora took on many changes and forms, one constant was the ‘redhead.’ I do not ever recall going into the El Dora and ordering anything but a ‘redhead.’ The ice cream was sort of light red in color with chopped maraschino cherries. I never really associated the flavor with anything else. I thought of it as a flavor on its own. Eventually the El Dora was torn down and replaced by a sports bar and urban sprawl took over the once pristine mid west countryside backdrop.

About twelve years ago Char and I sat back and did some reminiscing. She revealed an even deeper passion for the ‘redhead’ than I ever imagined. She was obsessed with coming up with a concoction that might yield that perfect flavor. She went so far as to track down the last owner of the El Dora and asked for the recipe. He refused to give it to her. The audacity! Frankly, I am surprised she did not try to pull out his fingernails and ‘water board’ him on the spot. Never the less Char had a keen sense of flavor and a tenacity to experiment until she found the right ingredients (it’s a genetic thing).

About a month after our conversation, Char called and invited me over. She said she had something for me. When I got to her home, she pulled a large serving bowl of ice cream from her freezer and handed me a spoon.

“Is this it?” I said.

“Try it.” She said.

I dug-in. “Oh my! This is it.” I nearly came to tears.

Well we stuffed ourselves beyond belief and Char allowed me to depart with the remainder of the bowl for later consumption. In addition, she gave me a bottle of the ‘secret ingredient.’

Here is the simple recipe. Bear in mind like many family recipes nothing is exact.

Ingredients:

1. Half gallon of vanilla ice cream (get the best).

2. A jar of maraschino cherries (size of jar depends on your taste).

3. Red food coloring (optional).

4. Shhhh, now here is the ‘secret ingredient’ – cinnamon oil.

Procedure:

1. Allow the ice cream to soften.

2. Drain the juice from the cherries and chop them to whatever size you want.

3. Add perhaps as little as a three or four dashes of cinnamon oil to the ice cream (depends on you). It is easy to add too much. A little goes a long way.

4. Mix the ingredients together. You may add the red food coloring until you get a dull red color or pink (whatever) in order to receive the full visual experience.

You may want to refreeze it, but if like me, dig in immediately.

I have shared this frozen culinary delight with my grandchildren expecting them to greet it with the same enthusiasm that Char and I have. They seem not to enjoy it as we did.

Three years ago my sister, Char, lost her battle with cancer. This is such a good memory for me. I still see the delight on her face at seeing me try my first bite and waiting for my approval.

 

24 Comments

Filed under Daily Prompt, Essays

The World Is My Playground

This used to be my window to the world, now it's Google Maps. The world is a wonderful place for a playground.

This used to be my window to the world, now it’s Google Maps. The world is a wonderful place for a playground.

Daily Prompt: Playtime

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

The computer and Internet can be a wonderful thing. It can take you to places you will likely never go. And, I would be remiss if not at least mentioning there are places one should never go.

As a kid I kept myself entertained for hours looking at maps or digging out a volume of my World Book Encyclopedias and going some place. In my imaginary world there was not one spot in the earth not visited.

I was an athletic kid, but spent a lot of time secluded in my room pouring over maps and reading about other countries and regions. That was play time for me.

Today my athletic prowess is somewhat limited, but what brings pleasure is to now go to Google Maps, pick a random location, and if possible explore by means of street view.

My imagination begins to play and wonder about the things I see.

Here’s a playtime story about a place visited by Google Street View.

Roadside Stand

I followed my brothers advice and bought a Volkswagen Bug for my trip to visit him in Mexico. “If you break down, they know how to get you back on the road without waiting for parts. Everybody knows how to work on V-dubs down her,” Kyle told me.

I was driving someplace in the middle of the Yucatán and famished. The last town I drove through did not have anyplace that looked like it served healthy or sanitary food. Now I was desperate. I was willing to take what ever came my way.

The road was heavily wooded with tropical trees and thick underbrush covered the side of the road. Suddenly a clearing appeared ahead of me. What looked like a food stand sat close to the road. I pulled up close to it. A dirty canvas draped the front.

A man appeared from a small house to the rear.

“When do you open?” I said in Spanish.

“Anytime,” the man said in Spanish.

Certain it was a taco of burrito stand I said. “I’ll take two.”

The man flopped the canvas over the roof. “Choose which two you want.”

Behind the canvass was a glass window and behind the window was a display of six caskets.

“I thought I could buy food here,” I said.

“You eat the food, you need the coffin,” the man smiled. Then he winked, “Two kilometers, good food.”

I drove away. “Incredible,” I said to myself. “A roadside coffin stand. Will it work in the States?”

Playful bloggers:

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17 Comments

Filed under Daily Prompt, Essays, Places & Travel

“Oh, Oh, Oh, I’ll Take The Jittery Goat Special!” With Recipe

Daily Prompt: You, the Sandwich

If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it. (Bonus points if you give us a recipe!)

I like food pretty straight forward, no raz-a-ma-taz. If you’re going to get a burger it’s okay to have stuff on it, but when it’s all said and done it still has to be a burger. I figure some places have crummy burgers so they have to doll it all up with lipstick, makeup, and perfume to make it passable. (Hey, I know that sounds sexist, but more and more guys are doing it these days too.)

That’s not to say there aren’t foods that need that treatment, but some don’t and shouldn’t.

Eggs by themselves are like… well eggs by themselves. Here’s a little omelet thing I like. I call it, “Oh, Oh, Oh.” Actually three Os; Oyster Onion Omelet.

It is simple to make, but can be a bit time-consuming for a quick breakfast or meal.

Before beating two eggs and spreading them on a grill or pan have sautéed onions and breaded deep-fried oysters on hand.

Once the beaten eggs are placed on the grill or pan drop in the desired amount of onions, beaded oysters, and sprinkle with your favorite cheese. Once the eggs are cooked sufficiently fold them and allow them to cook until the eggs are solid.

Smack it between two pieces of buttered toast and go to town.

Here’s another variation. Place over an open biscuit and pour on some sausage gravy.

To really do it right dice a little garlic and sauté with the onions.

I’m gonna rant a bit. You ever notice how all those cooking show chefs have everything measured in exact proportions. That’s dumbing it down for the audience. Anybody that’s boiled anything besides water knows that no two batches of anything are exactly alike except for stuff that comes from a can. If you can’t figure out how much salt and oregano to season something with you shouldn’t light a stove by yourself anyway.

Anyway, now that you’ve read my rant, go fix an Oh, Oh, Oh.

10 Comments

Filed under Cookin', Daily Prompt

Don’t Judge A Culture By What Is Canned

2369520_orig[1]Daily Prompt: Flip Flop

Think of a topic or issue about which you’ve switched your opinion. Why the change?

When I was a kid and until the time I left home Mom prepared a Chinese meal at least once or sometimes twice a month. No, she did not hunt the countryside for a stray cat. Worse! Chop suey from a can, La Choy.

Mom simply warmed it over the stove and served it over crunchy chow mein noodles. There was no way to make it better with something like more salt or catsup. It was terrible standing alone or with something added.

Mom sometimes cooked rice. She always cooked it until it became a pasty globular mass. It was like mashed potatoes with little tiny lumps, but with the taste of your mouth in the morning. I always added sugar to it. It never improved the taste. I just thought someday it might.

I never went to a Chinese restaurant. I used to contemplate 5,000 years of recorded history, the Great Wall, gun powder, ornate architecture, and great dynasties and all they have to show for it is a can of chop suey and crunchy chow mein noodles? How could they be serious about their food? They couldn’t even come up with anything better than chopsticks!

A few year ago I took some friends out for a meal. No place was planned and our time was limited. We drove past a Chinese restaurant. “How ’bout there?” They suggested.

“Sure,” I said reluctantly.

“You don’t like Chinese?”

“It’s not one of my favorites,” I said.

“Than we can try some place else.”

“No,” I insisted. “You are my guest and we’ll have Chinese.”

My friend said to order what he would order.

We had almond chicken and his wife had General Tso’s chicken.

I finished first and they let me scrape food from their plates.

My entire life stood in a examination and disillusionment. How could I have been so misdirected. Chinese food was really really good.

For the next year I ate Chinese at least once a week. I have not had a can of La Choy anything since I left my Mom’s home cooking and that was in the 60s.

Have you ever had tamales out of a can? Well, that’s another story.

I sometimes apply that to people, once you get to know them you find out their not prepared and canned some place far away and stacked on a shelf. The media creates stereotypes and than tries to scold the public for stereotyping people.

I was walking the streets of Budapest in 2003 with a black friend. He was tall and muscular. With us was a short and frail Romanian friend. Our Romanian friend said in all innocence, “Why are black men so mean and angry?”

“Am I that way?” my friend said.

“Oh no, you are nice, very nice,” the Romanian friend said.

“Let’s have Chinese,” I said.

“Oh yes! There are many fine Chinese restaurants in Budapest.” our Romanian friend said. “They say you have to go to China to get better Chinese food.”

Once again; The media creates stereotypes and than tries to scold the public for stereotyping people. Just leave us alone.

18 Comments

Filed under Cookin', Daily Prompt, Essays

Try Nutri-pill! (a commercial script)

Terry Bradshaw before Nutri-pill

Terry Bradshaw before Nutri-pill

Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill

If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?

If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?

Of course you would!

For a limited time only we are offering Nutri-pill.

Terry Bradshaw after 90 days on Nutri-pill.

Terry Bradshaw after 90 days on Nutri-pill.

Scientist have recently discovered a village in Central China where the people live incredibly healthy lives. It’s based on an ancient secret formula.  They drink carbonated sugary soda, potato chips, ice cream, desserts, fatty fried foods, and drink beer all day long without gaining a pound. And what’s more – THEY DON’T DIE!

Some studies suggest it even reverses the aging process. Think about it! Young again!

Their cholesterol is low. Their blood pressure is low. Their libido skyrockets. There arteries are clean. They have great looking skin and bodies. They never forget a name, anniversary, birthday or meaningless trivial facts.

They have energy to complete every task they start. They sleep only when they want to. They often say, “There’s just too many hours in a day.”

You will be the life of the party. You will be outgoing, energetic, and likable. Think about it, no more lonely nights with Mom, the cat, rice cakes, and watching The Golden Girls.

Buy some for Mom. She’d love to go clubing with you!

How would you like to be among the millions who are already one of our Nutri-pill customers and benefiting from it’s secret formula?

This ancient secret formula is now in pill form.

Nutri-pill can be yours, now! A ninety day supply for only a low, low $19.95!

But wait there’s more! If you respond to this TV offer in the next thirty minutes we will double that offer. We will send you a six months’ supply for the incredibly low price of $19.95! That is a $1,000,000 (or more) offer for $19.95!

What would good health and everlasting life be without a pocket hose?

What would good health and everlasting life be without a pocket hose?

And also, if you act now we will throw in the hose that everybody is talking about – The Pocket Hose absolutely free.

There is no money-back guarantee because it will work, you will be satisfied, we will close-up shop and split to Brazil.

Do you want to eat all you want, do all you want, be all you want, live forever and be healthy vibrant, good-looking and sexy plus have The Pocket Hose? It’s all yours for only 19.95! 19.95! That’s right Nutri-pill for only 19.95! We must be out of our minds. Act now! Supplies are limited. (There will be a slight charge for shipping and handling and overnight deliveries.)

Be sure to tell your friends about Nutri-pill! (that is, of course, if you would rather they to die of clogged arteries, heart disease, cancer, old age, or loneliness.)

Pill Poppin’ Bloggers:

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

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  23. Nourishment for my soul 🙂 | MindBlur
  24. Blueberries and Redcurrant | Spunky Wayfarer
  25. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | The Educated Illiterates
  26. Pop The Pill? Daily Prompt | heysugarsugar
  27. Daily Prompt: Red Pill,Blue Pill (Nourishment) | 365 Day 130 | AmiLoo’s Photography
  28. Daily Post: If Proteins Were Red, Carbohydrates Were Blue, What Would You Do? | Iam Who Iam
  29. Random Signs of Their Faith | It’s a wonderful F’N life
  30. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill – It’s Not Just Nutrition | SERENDIPITY
  31. There’s a pill for that! | Code For Confession
  32. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | Amanda’s Blog™
  33. June Daily Prompt: Just If It Doesn’t Cost Much | Portofolio Prita
  34. Daily Prompt: Savory | One Starving Activist
  35. Daily Prompt : Red Pill Blue Pill | writinglikeastoner
  36. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  37. Lunchtime Review : Vitamin pills | Geek Ergo Sum
  38. Red Pill, Blue Pill, no Food, no thrill… (Daily Prompt) | The Rider
  39. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | Under the Monkey Tree
  40. Red or Blue | theconsciouswriter
  41. Bam the Gam and His Distaste for Ham | meanderedwanderings
  42. NO MORE PILLS PLEASE (Daily Prompt) | liveuntil
  43. Bitter pill | Sad Magic
  44. Bite Me | Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | mattsden101
  45. Food Matrix | A Sign Of Life
  46. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | The Blogging Path
  47. Where’s My Prescription? | Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | Words From The Desk Of An Insomniac
  48. Cook,Eat,Stay healthy! | Journey Called Life …
  49. In Return (Daily Post Response) | Maggie’s Writing
  50. Red or Blue, what pill for meal? | Kansa Muse on Micro Farming and More
  51. the UNCATEGORISED: Daily Prompt | Red Pill, Blue Pill | the TRASH BASH
  52. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | The corner of my imagination
  53. »Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue PillIf you could get | Dee’Lectables
  54. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | The Tarot Alchemist
  55. The Forbidden Book | Grandma Says..
  56. RED PILL, BLUE PILL: the DAILY POST daily prompt | a seriously writing woman
  57. Daily Prompt 6/4: Red Pill, Blue Pill | sophie vibes
  58. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | To Breathe is to Write
  59. This Little Blue Pill | Scribbling Gizmos
  60. Svetlana’s Photography
  61. Daily Prompt: Red Pill, Blue Pill | Purple Rosemary

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Too Much Of A Good Thing

My ultimate meal, but not every meal!

My ultimate meal, but not every meal!

Daily Prompt: Five a Day

You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

When I was in my early teens my diet selection was fairly narrow, at least when eating out. It was always the same; Hamburger (mustard, pickle, onion), French fries, banana cream pie. It was all sloshed down with a Coke.

Not counting the Coke that’s three items that fulfilled my dietary and culinary delight.

I suppose that leaves me with two items remaining to choose. I really like tossed salad (I’m assuming a choice of dressings) and chili.

I’m assuming my captors will provide water or some other beverage; a dark roast coffee would be appreciated.

If my captors offered those items they would have little reason to believe I would plan an escape.

This reminds me of an experience from my early twenties. I was an Army cook. There were five cooks on our shift. We came into a large supply of filet mignon and lobster tail. We decided to have it everyday until the supply was exhausted.

I remember by the fifth day we were saying, “Oh no, filet mignon and lobster tail again!” One guy said as if fondly remembering, “I remember the good old days when I was a kid; mayonnaise sandwiches as far as the eye could see, never got tired of ’em.”

Other five food bloggers:

  1. 30 Daily Prompt: Five a Day | Family Photos Food & Craft
  2. Daily Prompt: Crash Diet on an island | My Daily Prompt Blog
  3. Five Foods in a private island | I am Super Istar
  4. Five to survive | Spunky Wayfarer
  5. I’m Afraid Of The Dark
  6. Condiments Not Included? | Daily Prompt: Five a Day | likereadingontrains
  7. Five A Day – I’m Afraid Of The Dark
  8. A Life Without Chocolate | The Daily Dilly Dally
  9. Too Much Of A Good Thing | The Jittery Goat
  10. Daily prompt: five a day | Mud Pie
  11. Daily Prompt: Five a Day I’ve Been Exiled | Lines by Linda
  12. Five a Day: Getting the Balance Right | WanderLust
  13. Balanced diet? What balance? | Angel Frouk
  14. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | Of Glass & Paper
  15. Five Foods | Matthew Vett’s Development Blog
  16. Final Five | ayimas
  17. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | LooknWalk
  18. Five a Day | Kansa Muse on Micro Farming and More
  19. Food – First Five | Bullets & Dreams
  20. A captive ‘a la carte’ menu (Daily Prompt) | Prompt Queen
  21. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | The Road to Published
  22. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  23. Five Food I Would Not Live Without | Creative and Juicy
  24. The 5 Foods To Keep Me Company | Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness
  25. Random Daily Prompt: Five a Day « Completely Random Thoughts
  26. Daily Post: For Good Health | One Starving Activist
  27. Fantastic Foods . . . | amateurxpress
  28. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | My Atheist Blog
  29. Five a Day | thelissachronicles
  30. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | writinglikeastoner
  31. Five-Alive | sat n’ all that
  32. Daily Prompt: Famous Five | it’s just abOut Me 🙂
  33. Daily Prompt: Five a Day | Dree Speaks Freely
  34. Five a Day | The Nameless One
  35. Five Foods to Make Being Exiled Grand (Daily Prompt: Five a Day) | My Abbitude Problem!
  36. Exiled but Survived | L’S THOUGHTS….

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Filed under Daily Prompt, Essays