Tag Archives: exercise

Pain in the Back? Exercise May help you not to feel it.

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(Although I might think about others when writing, it’s generally to and for myself… and a few pain in the backside  friends.)

Every instinct told me not to say anything to my neighbor about my back pain. He’s a chiropractor. I might as well be a recovering addict next to a drug dealer.

The inevitable happened one day; I’m mowing the lawn and suddenly there is this shooting pain in my lower back. I release my grip from the mower thus it stops running. I grab for my back like somebody just stole my wallet.

Who happens to be pulling out of the drive at that exact moment? Just like a drug dealer; there to relieve your pain, the chiropractor – I call him Bones… behind is back.

Bones stopped the car and jumped out faster than a lawyer at a three car pile-up. “What’s the matter, pal?” Gus (I’ll call him Gus from here on out.) says looking like mortician at a three car pile-up with no survivors.

“My back,” I confessed.

“How long have you had that?” Gus said.

“I’ve always had it,” I said.

“You should have said something,” Gus said. “I could have helped you.”

“No, no,” I said emphatically through the grimace of my pain. “You can’t help.”

Pain is a wonderful truth serum; you state the truth even when not even questioned.

“You get me in your office. You win my confidence. You crack my back. The next thing you know I can’t live without a weekly adjustment. I’m yours for life.”

“Sort of like going to the doctor for pills?” Gus said.

“Yes!” I said. “A logic you have had years to conjure and I have nothing to counter it with except… please help me! On the other hand when on vacation I don‘t have to shop for a chiropractor; I have my trusty bottle of pain relief and good times with me.”

“I was going to suggest something else,” Gus said.

“What?” I said. “You got a cousin who is an acupuncturists. You guys are all alike you work in tandem and off the pain and desperation of others. You guys in the pain business belong to the same country club.”

“That’s because we can’t afford your doctors’ country club,” Gus said. “But what I had in mind was going to the gym with me a couple of days a week. Maybe that’s all you need. If you have back pain, exercise may help you not feel it.”

“What does a membership cost?” I said.

“It’s $99 to sign up and only $10 a week after that,” Gus said. “It has a weight room, pool, sauna, and track. In fact, that’s where I was headed for. Why not go with me this morning?”

Gus and I had a pleasant ride to the gym. We avoided the subject of back pain and treatment.

We walked into the lobby of the gym and Gus seemed at home. He said to the receptionists. “Is Andy around?”

The girl behind the counter was athletic, muscular, blond, and in her mid twenties. She had whitened teeth and a tanning booth tan. My first thought was ‘The only thing natural about her is her… come to think about it there was nothing.’

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll tell him you’re here, Gus.”

Gus leaned over to me. “You’ll love Andy. He’s the owner/manager. “Knows his stuff.”

“As long as he doesn’t perform acupuncture,” I said.

Andy burst through double swinging doors that led to the gym, Julie’s male counterpart. “Hey, Gus,” Andy said and gripped my hand like I was about to slip off a ledge. “Glad to have you. My name’s Andy.” He smiled as broad as a lawyer and mortician at a three car pile-up with no survivors.

“I’m Rex,” I said.

“We’re running a special,” Andy said. “You sign-up today, your first month is free. Julie, start the paper work.”

I strolled over to the counter where Julie signed me up for a membership.

Julie’s final smile was, “And don’t forget if you bring a new member in and they sign-up, you will receive the sign-up money. Be sure to come back the end of the week and pay your sign-up fee so you can take advantage of our discount offer.”

“So Gus gets $99?” I said.

“That’s right,” Julie said. “That’s how easy it is.”

I smiled and backed away.

Gus and Andy were talking and parted when they saw I had completed the sign-up. They waved goodbye.

“Tell Uncle Ben and Aunt Sally I said hi,” Gus said to Andy.

Gus and I walked to the car.

“Andy is related?” I said.

“Cousin,” Gus said. “He used to be in acupuncture.”

(365 Day Challenge)

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Filed under Daily Prompt, Short Stories

I Should Have Posted Yesterday And Other Things.

Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda

Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t.

My son runs and enjoys it. I have an old friend from my high school days who runs and enjoys it. Last May I started running and enjoyed it. A month into running gout invaded by system. It took nearly two months for a proper diagnosis, treatment and recovery.

In the mean time I have not done any sort of exercise. I should have, I would have, and I could have.

This week my wife entered the hospital to have a knee replaced. The day before was spent rushing around for a couple of hours obtaining things she needed to aid her recovery. I was exhausted. The last few days at the hospital have been physically taxing on me.

I know, I could use the excuse of being old, but I won’t afford my self an easy out. For crying-out-loud; I don’t do anything. Anything and everything is exhausting to me.

Today is the day something should be done, starting with a little time on the stationary bike.

I’ll be back to finish.

Well, two miles on the bike and my Daily Prompt from yesterday is complete.

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Running: My 8th Week

June 17

My inspiration for the week.

I’m thinking about changing the name of this series of blogs from “Running” to “The Gout Chronicles.” I simply can’t run.

At this point I’m too ill to go on the exercise bike.

I drove to Emmett Idaho today; about a forty-five minute drive. I gave a talk and on my feet for thirty-minutes. I felt pretty good.

A friend said he was given indomethacin. “One pill and it was gone.”

I have theory I’d like to proclaim; I’m on medicare. It is their intent to keep me coming back until I’m dead or so miserable I want to die. The guy who got the indomethacin was still a productive part of society. Sure they’re going to keep him going.

June 18

Very sore today. Songs have been written about cocaine, LSD, and marijuana; but none about hydrocodon. I think the time is here.

An old high school buddy, Bob Hempker, sent an email today and suggested I change the name of my blog to “The Jittery Gout.” Funny, very funny.

June 19

Family came over for supper. The foot is sore, but tolerable; not so much the grandkids.

June 20

The pain is very intense today. I’d have to rank this as my worst day. It seems like with all the medication, rest, and time it should be better.

I promised my wife if it’s like this tomorrow I will call a podiatrist friend.

June 21

I got a hold of my doctor’s assistant. They prescribed another product from the vast monolithic evil pharmaceutical empire. Colcrys was prescribed; take two pills every hour until gone. (Six pills, you do the math)

June 22

I talked with my son this morning. I told him that, all kidding aside, I really miss running.

I’m wondering if I’m a part of a study and that I’m a part of the group given a placebo. I slept quite a bit today and when not sleeping was still tired.

June 23

I still have swelling, but the pain has nearly subsided. It’s time to pop the corks.

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Running: My 7th Week

My inspiration for the week; Walter Brennan.

June 10

Can’t walk

June 11

Saw my personal physician today at 8:00 AM.

He said I have gout. There will be more on this in the future, but this diagnosis could have been rendered nearly two weeks ago. So for around two weeks I’ve had to live with a kidney stone in my foot.

June 12

Can’t walk.

June 13

Limp like Walter Brennan. (See YouTube clip at the end.)

June 14

I did three miles on my bike.

June 15

I’m feeling better. This entire week has been spent depressed and physically ill. Probably the medications. I don’t take them well. Each time I take them there is a different side effect. Neither of which I enjoy.

I went through the entire 60’s without so much as taking whiff of marijuana, no acid trips, or mushroom parties. Now that I’m in my 60’s I’m starting to experience the effects drugs have. If I took them then the only thing I would have missed were the 60’s.

June 16

Still have some occasional sharp pain in my foot.

Look what my life has come to; talking about my foot!

Now I know I’m old. What’s next incontinence?

A YouTube clip of the Walter Brennan limp. It’s comes at the end of the clip.

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Filed under Running

Running: My 6th Week (Sitting On My Toucas)

My inspiration for the week; it takes away the pain.

June 3

Went to the doctor. The ball of my foot is still sore. Even though I’m taking some an anti-inflammatory drug (meloxicam 15 mg) there is still slight swelling, but I have noticed my cynical and sarcastic remarks have completely vanished from my vocabulary. I didn’t know anti-inflammatory curbed inflammatory rhetoric also.

Every four hours acetaminophen 250 mg has been taken for pain.

I am elevating my foot and resting a lot.

I recall from my previous days of running that any day missed feels as if you are falling behind; falling behind what? I don’t know. It’s all in your head.

Today, with the tension turned up on the bike, I peddled fifteen minutes. I worked up a good sweat, heavy breathing, and fast heart rate. This is my road to recovery. I plan to start running again in about a week.

I peddled nearly four miles. I wonder what that is in running miles or even in dog miles?

June 4

I peddled 4.2 miles in about fifteen minutes. I don’t want to loose anything that I gained since starting the first of May.

My plan is to peddle everyday until resumption of running.

My foot is still sore. I wake up at night with it throbbing.

June 5

Today I went 4. 5 miles at 17MPH and the half mile at 14 MPH.

Boise is known as a bike-friendly community. What that means is that cyclist can get away with anything.

Last week I stopped at a light. (For real.) I glanced to my left and saw a bicycler on the other side of the street racing on the side walk. For the life of me, doesn’t he know he’s in a bike-friendly community and tax payers have paid millions for bike lanes? He whizzes through the intersection like he’s the only one in the universe and got plunked by a car that had the light.

I’m not making light of this. He was tossed at least ten feet in the air and landed on the concrete. I called 911. A nurse was already there. The man was conscience and bleeding from the right side of his head: no helmet.

The lady that hit him was in her late 70’s/early 80’s. She was shaking and in tears. Immediately three people came to her and said they saw the whole thing and she was not at fault.

My stationary bike is in an extra room. I watch for traffic, obey the laws, and will buy a helmet – someday.

June 6

I’m thinking about changing the title of this series of blog posts from Running to Sitting on My Toucas.

 June 7

I got a letter from my doctor that said the whole thing might be osteoarthritis. First of all, who writes a letter any more; people text. My doctor is so yesterday. I suppose he’ll want to bleed me next. He’s never seen me. They sent in the second team when I went to his office; the physician’s assistant. Isn’t that like sending Joe Biden to do a high school commencement in Air Force 3; that‘s the one the pilot wears goggles and a scarf and has a flask of whiskey under the seat for courage.

June 8

This was the worst day of pain I have ever experienced. My wife contacted the doctor’s office as directed and set an appointment for the June 25. By 5:30 PM the pain became intolerable. I was ready to buy drugs off the street. I took two acetaminophen and waited an hour. I went to emergency. No x-rays were taken, but only the same advice was given that I received from the physician’s assistance seven days earlier. This time I was sent on my way with a small prescription of hydrocodon. It took an hour to kick the pain.

I just put a street dealer out of business.

Hydrocodone has replaced acetaminophen.

It looks as though my plans of running are on hold.

Words fail to describe how this admission frustrates me.

June 9

Took the hydrocodon at 5:00 AM. At 5:45. I was nauseas and sweaty. I went back to bed. It’s now 8:00 and I feel great (drug induced great).

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Running: My 5th Week

May 27

My inspiration for the week. I’m going out and make foot impressions in the foot hills near Idaho City.

This was a no run day and I’m glad the ball of my right foot is killing me

May 28

I decided to rest my foot another day.

I was going to try the stationary bike for twenty minutes or so, but opted for a bowl of ice cream.

May 29

Took two Aleve at 1:00 AM. They’re not working. The pain has shifted to the top of my foot above the ball. This can only be compared to a broken bone. The pain is near excruciating.

This blog is supposed to be humorous. Right now it ain’t funny unless you’re into sadomasochism. I’m not sure how that works anyway.

Anyway it looks like another day without running. I definitely have to use the bike today.

May 30

My foot had incredible pain. I’m thinking about a doctor’s visit.

Aleve does nothing to rid the pain. Aspirin seems to do the best. I’m concerned about aspirin addiction. It starts like that with athletes. “Here, take a couple of aspirin.” The next day it’s, “Try two of these, they’re better.” Next thing you know I’m buying from and undercover cop.

May 31

There is no improvement. It’s been swollen for a couple of days. It feels like I’m lugging a watermelon around instead of a foot.

I thought about going into the foot hills near Idaho City and leaving footprints and claim a Bigfoot siting. Idaho City could use the tourist’s revenue. The problem is it will only be a right foot. Hmm, I’ll make another impression with a broom stick; Bigfoot was a pirate with a pegleg. I’m a genius!

June 1

Got an x-ray and told that it looks like and old injury has been aggravated. I was prescribed medication to ease the swelling and sent on my way, but not pain pills. There’s this guy I see on the corner; nah, looks too much like a cop.

I recalled when a senior in high school I injured my foot and told everybody things were fine when in fact I still had pain. I was young and invincible; it comes back to haunt you forty-six years later.

June 2

Slept nearly all day yesterday and didn’t get up until six fifteen this morning. The foot feels better, but still very sore and the swelling has gone down considerably.

My plan is to put some time on the stationary bike; I might even pedal.

With the time away from running it has caused be to be somewhat philosophical; Ah crap!

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Running: My 4th Week

May 20

Cement Shoe Drop Zone; My inspiration for the week.

Today I had a special event to attend. No running; that’s why I ran two days in a row – May 18 and 19.

 May 21

Yesterday I spent the entire day on cement floors. Today my legs hurt and my ankles are swelled. I ran two days in a row now I’m not running two days in a row.

I can’t complain; there are guys at the bottom of East River who have spent decades in cement.

 May 22

The internet said no breeze. As hard is this is to believe there was a breeze out of the West; the internet lied! Which leads me to wonder; are all the benefits of running that I’ve read about on the internet lies as well?

Maybe I should hold off and not buy those really expensive $12.99 running shoes I‘ve been admiring and mulling over at Wal-Mart.

The ball of my right foot is killing me today.

 May 23

The ball of my right foot still hurts. I’m not attributing this to running, but rather the concrete I was on Sunday. I’ve had this before without running. I’m sure there’s a name for it and a reason. The only source I have available to look it up is the internet and they can’t even be trusted to give me the correct wind velocity.

 May 24

Ran a mile today. My foot was good, but I felt a sharp strain in my left calf.

I’m not saying I’m running slow, but once again I passed a motion detector light and it didn’t come on. I’ve seen a blowing leaf trip these things. I’ve heard that aliens can’t trip those things either. It has something to do with their molecular makeup. Maybe I was switched at birth for an earth child. I wonder if he’s happy today and knows what I know.

 May 25

This is a no run day.

 May 26

It rained about an hour before my run and started sprinkling at the end.

I have so much flatulence ducks are doing flybys.

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