Tag Archives: Boise

The Second Amendment Shoot-Out At Billy Bronco’s

thR310JV1FIt was a slow week at Billy Bronco’s.

Last week there was a shooting. There was an argument about gun control.

Three guy came into the bar, Joe, Hank, and Pete.

After the argument their views changed dramatically.

Joe said he didn’t think guns should be in the hands of private citizens.

Hank immediately began quoting the second amendment. Of course, Joe said that was open to interpretation.

Pete didn’t care one way or another so Joe and Hank asked Pete to be the arbiter. They presented their arguments with passion and reason. So much so that Pete could not declare one the winner over the other.

“You are both my friends,” Pete said. “Your arguments are persuasive and articulated well. I just can’t make up my mind.”

“What do you mean you can’t make up your mind?” Joe said inches from Pete’s face.

“I mean what I said,” Pete said backing away.

“You’re a coward not to take a stand,” Hank said backing Pete off his stool.

“That is my stand,” Pete said. “It pleases no one.”

Hank reached inside Joe’s coat and pulled out his concealed handgun. Hank fired one round through Pete’s foot.

Pete screamed. “You idiot! You argued for gun control!”

“Yes!” Hank said. “To keep guns out of the hands of idiots like me.”

The police and rescue squad were called.

Joe was arrested for carrying a weapon without a permit. Hank was arrested for discharging the weapon and shooting Pete. Pete was taken to the hospital, treated, and released.

I has been six months sense the shooting. Pete walks with a limp and carries .45. He swears if his sees Joe or Hank he’s going to put a bullet through their foot.


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Subliminal Messaging At Billy Bronco’s

Subliminal Messaging At Billy Bronco’sth[9]

Kevan, in order to keep the conversation rolling about the new Boise State coaches, made a roster of them on a chalk board that hung over the back bar. The chalk board usually consist of what is the kitchen that’s about to go bad. Instead the list of coaches were printed on the board. “Mike Sanford, Marcel Yates, Kent Riddle, Steve Caldwell Junior Adams, And Avolos, Julius Brown, Elijah Drinkwitz, Scott Huff, and oh yeah, Bryan Harsin.

Well, all was going fine. There were good and lively discussions, no disagreements, and the beer flowed, which made Kevan happy.

Kevan made a check mark beside the coach to be discussed for the night. He breezed right through the first five and then slipped all the way down to Scott Huff. This did not escape the notice of Dawg Breath.

Then one night it happened the most furious exchange at Billy Brono’s since “taste great, less filling.”

“Kev, man,” Dawg Breath said. “You can’t do that.”

“What?” Kev said.

“You can’t go out of order,” Dawg Breath said. “It’s list. Lists have to go in order.”

This guy named TommyT from nowhere, his face buried in the mug of beer. With his face still dripping of suds said, “Hey, if it ain’t numbered ya don’t have to go in order.”

Dawg Breath was in no mood to give in. “It’s still a list. You start at the top and work your way to the bottom, one name at a time. That’s the only way.”

It wasn’t this quiet since Broztman’s missed field goal at Nevada.

“Whoa,” Louie said. “Let’s say you go to a grocery and you make a list of what you need; milk, beer, eggs, chips, salad dressing, ham, beer, and laundry detergent. You don’t get the milk and go over and get the beer because it’s next. You pick up the eggs because it’s close. You don’t crisscross and zigzag all over the store to get things in the order you have them on the list. It’s what ever comes next. Doesn’t that make sense?”

At this point Kevan is happy for somebody defending him bypassing a couple of coaches on the list, but more importantly another round of beers had been ordered to further fuel the discussion.

Dawg Breath is not one to toss in the towel. He tossed down the bottom of his glass and motioned for Kevan to replenish. Then he retorted, “What good is a list if you don’t go in order.”

“The purpose is to get everything done,” Louie said, “Not necessarily in order.”

Dawg Breath completely ignored the counter argument. Something said earlier wrestled his attention. “Wait a minute some one said zigzag. Why are we talking about pot?”

“Because it’s legal in Colorado and Washington,” some guy named Blue said.

The next thing you know the whole place is into a discussion about marijuana legalization.

Kevan filled Dawg Breath’s tankard and along with everyone else whose a part of the discussion. Kevan smiles because he knows where now the discussion is going. It now has left football. He’s in for a long night of drawing beer and wrangling about natural selection and quantum physics – and more beer.

Kevan started to draw another one for Louie.

“No thanks,” Louie says.

“Shhh,” Kevan said. “It’s on the house.”

“Some other time,” Louie said.

“I noticed when you gave the example of the list you mentioned beer twice,” Kevan said.

“It’s called subliminal suggestion messaging and positive reinforcement,” Louie said.

“I think it’s working,” Kevan said. “Dawg Breath’s glass is empty already.”



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Boise State – Utah State Predicting The Score

Will more be seen of Mr. Burroughs.

Will more be seen of Mr. Burroughs.

With the Utah Aggies starting quarterback, Chuckie Keeton, out for the year the Boise State secondary can breathe a collective sigh of relief. That said, the secondary has come a long way since the Udub drubbing they were handed at the arm of Keith Price. It turns out our secondary my not have done as bad against Udub as we thought. He had very similar numbers against Stanford last week.

It turns out also that Fresno’s Derek Carr had his lowest completion percentage thus far this year against Boise. Considering his talent and experience and Boise’s lack of experience in the secondary the Bronco’s did fairly good although they did allow 460 passing yards. Certainly the ineffective pass rush that Boise had against Fresno didn’t help the secondary either.

The pass rush is starting to look better. It looks like the d-line and secondary are coming together at the mid-season mark.

Utah State’s crippled offense will not move the ball against the Boise State’s emerging defense.

What about the Southwick, I mean offense?

Bummer: Baltazar is out with an ACL.

That means more work for Ajayi or somebody has to step up. At running back there are plenty of horses in the stable; Jack Fields, Charles Bertoli, DerrickThomas, and Devon Demas.

Losing your number two running back is almost as bad as losing your number one. Ajayi has to carry the rock and not give it up. He has to stay healthy. Ajayi runs with such determination that he is capable of breaking off a long run at any time.

Right now defenses against Boise are playing bunched near the line of scrimmage. In order for the running backs to put up bigger numbers the passing game must go beyond the sideline screens and quick flips over the center. Boise has to move the safeties and linebackers from near the line of scrimmage with longer pass routes.

Dallas Burroughs has looked really good the last couple of games on kick returns. He seems to have little more speed than Shane Williams-Rhodes and is able to get up field faster. I hope he gets no more than two opportunities to take the field on the receiving team during each game the rest of the season. Look for him to become more involved in deep routes.

In the Aggies game against BYU last week, Cougar’s quarterback Taysom Hill who is a 43% passer on the season looked like a NFL draft pick against Utah State. Southwick and his crew of receivers should have a good game.

Can the Aggies’ stop the Boise State offence and Southwick? No. Will the Broncos’ defense stop Utah State? Yes.

I originally thought the game may be 52-7 (I drink the Bronco Kool-ade), but showing deference to the odds makers (+7) adjusted it to a 35-7 game.

Thus far here are my previous predictions:

Boise over UW 35-17 (Actual, 6-38 UW, hope springs eternal.)

Boise over UT Martin 49-0 (Actual 63-14, got the spread.)

Boise over Air Force 45-17 (Actual, 42-20, missed by a field goal on both ends.)

Boise over Fresno 45-30 (Actual 41-40 Fresno win, Frankly if the game were held any place, but Fresno…)

Boise over Southern Miss (49-10) (Actual 60-7, Petersen purposely left the first team in too long to foil me and Demarcus Lawrence was off-sides on one of his blocked field goals [not really, I’m just a sore loser})

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News From Boise: New Name For Potato Bowl?

Will Mr. Potato Head become Mr. Pot Head in Boise?

Will Mr. Potato Head become Mr. Pot Head in Boise?

Just this past week law enforcement confiscated its largest marijuana crop in state history. It was estimated that over $100 million worth was growing in Boise County.

Speculation runs high (no pun intended) on what to do with the crop.

With other states such as Colorado legalizing it, why not sell it to them?

Boise has a football bowl game every year called the Potato Bowl. It can‘t be making money. Who wants to come to Boise in the winter to watch football?

If financed with the $100 million from the confiscated marijuana it can be called the Pot Bowl. It’s a beautiful compromise; people already abbreviate potato ’pot.’ anyway.

It’s just another way government and the private sector can work together.

It also gives Californians one more reason to move to Idaho. On second thought, let’s forget the whole Pot Bowl thing. Just send the pot to California maybe that will keep them there.

The weather has moderated in Boise. Temperatures are in the 70’s to the 80s. We’ve had rain. It is almost like being in my beloved Michigan (sarcasm).

On the north/west corner of Maple Grove and Fairview there used to be an empty lot. A Mexican food truck used to park there. Now a Jack-In-the-Box is being constructed. I don’t see that as an improvement.

Food trucks are becoming the rage. Boise has its share.

I like food trucks better than Jack-in-the-Box. I like frozen dinners better than Jack-in-the-Box. I like heart burn and diarrhea  better than Jack-in-the-Box. Jack-in-the-Box gives me heart burn and diarrhea.

The Walgreen’s down the street from Jack-in-the-Box is stocking up on Prilosec Imodium.

Immigrants from Mexico are starting to call Jack-in-the-Box “Venganza  dela trabajador de salario mínimo.” (“Revenge of the minimum wage worker.”)


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What happened in Boise last week?

Grown men cried, mothers wept, children sobbed; Boise State lost, the city was in gloom.

Grown men cried, mothers wept, children sobbed; Boise State lost, the city was in gloom.

There was a crack in the pavement at the intersection of Fairview and Milwaukee that I observed going from three feet to three and a half feet.

Costco had a special on Chicken Alfredo. I purchased two and froze one.

There was a dark cloud of gloom over the city last week. I hate to write again about Rick Lantz and the weather, but it’s the only thing going for us in Boise at the time.

He started out the weather report this past Sunday with, “Don’t be fooled friends, that is not rain in the forecast. It’s tears from Boise State’s loss to the Washington Huskies in Seattle. A high pressure ridge moved all that Seattle moisture in the form of tears lift there by Boise fans into the Treasure Valley.”

There was doom in the city last week. There were outcries from bars. Young mothers shrieked, ran from their homes into the streets carrying and holding their infants close and tightly covering their eyes and ears so they would not have to watch or hear anymore. Oh, the humanity!

“Defeat and humility are good for the soul.” I think somebody said that once. That’s what Byron Hout really said to LeGarette Blount at the end of the Boise/Oregon game in 2009. Blount clocked Hout and Oregon went on to be a better team.

Wait a minute, that’s what Rudy at Rudy‘s shoe repair used to say all the time; “De feet is good for de sole. Now you owe me $27.50.”

“But, Rudy, I only paid $25 for the shoes.”

“Hey, look, if I charge you less, my soul would be hurting and not you feets.”

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Boise Is A Meteorological Oddity; It Has No Weather

They tell me this is weather guy Rick Lantz. I've seen Lantz; his hair is gray and he has a nose.

They tell me this is Channel 7 KTVB weather guy Rick Lantz. I’ve seen Lantz; his hair is gray and he has a nose.

Daily Prompt: Viral

The New York Times is going to feature your blog on its home page, and you’ve been asked to publish a new post — it’ll be the first thing tens of thousands of new readers see. Write it.

There is something peculiar about the Boise weathermen on TV. They stay the same from day to day. I think they start in early June and replay the same tape over and over again. There is hardly any variation in the weather.

One day I was watching the weatherman on TV. I immediately got in my car. No more than a half-mile from my home I saw a homeless guy on the street corner that looked exactly like the weatherman; the same smile, sport jacket (a little tattered), and holding a sign, “Will do yard work, magic tricks, and predict weather for food.”

The forecast is always the same: “The high today will be in the upper nineties with a possibility of triple digits by the end of the day. There’s a chance of rain coming through the valley, but that won’t cool things down much. Look for a cool down (95) before the weekend, but warming again for the Saturday and Sunday.”

Once a month they take a thin sheet of steel and flex it just so people will know how thunder sounds. Somebody stands over them with a watering can drenching them with water so people will know to associate rain with thunder. It’s remarkable how quickly you forget those things. If not for the weather man saying so, I’d leave the house every time without an umbrella.

The weathermen play this percentage game with us: “Tomorrow rain! There is a 30% chance of rain.” That means there is a 70% it won’t! I measure their sincerity by whether they tell me to take my umbrella with me.

People drive to Seattle for the weather.

In fact, if not for the grass and forest fires and pollution we wouldn’t have any weather at all in Boise.


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Boise State/Washington Blackout? Give Us Our Game Or We Take Your Fries

Wake up America. Our game gets blacked out in Boise, you don't get your fries.

Wake up America. Our game gets blacked out in Boise, you don’t get your fries.

I’m not sure what’s going on with the cable and satellite TV providers, but there is some difficulty in having Boise States opener with Washington being televised to the folks back in Boise.

They are saying it’s all about money, dah! It is always all about money.

I’d like to issue this warning; if we in Bose must pay extra to have the game telecasted locally, you will pay for it; really have to pay for the next time you say yes to, “Would like to have some fries to go along with your order?”

The potato industry has a strong lobby. Just think about that the next time your craving starchy greasy fries.

The hand that picks the potato also rocks the cradle. What will America be like with 45,000,000 kids yelling and screaming, “I don’t want apple slices with my Happy Meal. I want fries!”

Televise the game or else.


Filed under Boise, Essays