I’m letting the secret out: This blog is a real money-maker. Not the blog itself. I trick people. I write clever stuff and on the side bar there is a link to the money maker. It’s so easy to make money on the internet; I’m surprised more people aren’t doing it.
I thought about writing a really clever book that outlines how to make money by blogging. (In fact, if you use this secret method without sending me a check for $1,000 I’m taking you to court. So don’t go any further unless you write a check first.)
Here’s the secret to internet blogging riches:
1. Write clever stuff
2. On your side bar have a link to a site that sells t-shirts, cups, and bumper stickers with clever original work by you.
3. Sit back and watch the money roll in.
And the great thing about this is that you can do it from a beach in a grass hut on a Polynesian or Caribbean Island or, in my case, Boise, Idaho.
There is a warning. You have to be careful: copy write infringements. This could land you in court. And some big shot company can sue you for using something that they have licensed. When they’re done with you all you have is a grass hut in Boise, Idaho.
Yeah, this piece is dripping with sarcasm. I got pulled over by the Milk Police. I thought I was clever enough to slip one past them, but they lifted an udder and caught me on radar. I had a shirt that said, “Got Milk? Got Cookies. Let’s Party!”
I thought if I used it in a way not used by them, that would be okay. I have now gone through all my novels, short stories, and essays and removed “got milk” with “do you have in your possession product from the cow’s udder?” A bit clumsy, but at least I’m safe.
Well the “Got Milk?” people told the manufacturers of my t-shirts and bumper stickers I’m milkin’ their slogan for money. Not really; I sold nothing.
Frankly, I don’t like milk. Those milk producers make it sound like there’s nothing better than coming inside on a hot summer day and pouring a tall cool glass of milk. Balderdash! You start with beer and work your way to water and milk ain’t anywhere in between.
The only thing it has done to coffee is ruin it.
Milk is never good by itself. It has to have something to support it. The only time, if ever, it is good by itself is after all the cereal has been eaten and you slurp the left-over milk from the bowl. By then it’s loaded with the flavor of the cereal and sugar.
Milk is not good unless you add sugar, eggs, and vanilla. It then becomes ice cream when frozen.
Milk is only good when accompanied with cookies, even if they happen to be ginger bread or molasses.
The only time it has a distinctive taste is when it goes bad.
Milk can not stand on it’s own! And by the time it does, it’s cottage cheese.