I Thought The Future Was Plastics; All Along It Was Snacks

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Snack,” finally a word I can really sink my teeth into. Hey, it was there, so I took a swing. If you think it’s lame, it’s only because you didn’t see the obvious.

It is amazing an entire industry has been built around “snack.”

At one time, snacks were pretty much unheard of. If you got a little hungry, you just sucked it up until it was time to eat. Hunger and famine prepares us for – hunger and famine; it’s conditioning for the tough times.

However with the concept of snacks everybody seems to have built on guts, butts, love handles, and thunder thighs, sort of like rented storage facilities. I’m not being critical of others, I have rented storage lockers also. Let’s be frank, I have them in several locations.

I hear they even have snack machines in schools now. Does that make sense? Can anyone make an argument in favor of them?

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. What was that, a cricket?

Is there anything wrong with ESS (Empty Stomach Syndrome?) And don’t give me the cranky kid argument; we got kids bringing drugs, guns, knives, ticking boxes, cell phones, ipads, itunes, video games, grenade launchers, babies, and personal body guards to school. If you must feed the monster to appease him, he’s become ruler rather than student. If a kid gets hungry and cranky, likely a fifteen minute workout on the stadium steps or a run around the football field will diminish any frivolous notions of tearing open a bag of Doritos and swallowing them whole to satisfy his ravenous insatiable animalistic hunger pangs.

Kids go to school with a couple snack bars in their backpacks, they come home to an after school, snack, then there’s a snack while watching TV at night, and then a bedtime snack. This prepares a kid for the work force and adult life where they will have snack bars, snack drawers, snack breaks, and snack wagons.

And if the kid is smart he’ll get a job in the snack industry.

I’d like to rewrite a scene from The Graduate. (That’s a really old movie. I have to realize over half the earth’s population was born after The Graduate.)



Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Snacks (originally, plastics).
Benjamin: Exactly how do you mean?
Mr. McGuire: There’s a great future in snacks.(originally, plastics) Think about it. Will you think about it?


  1. I have an argument that supports students having access to snack machines, and that would be for students that are diabetic, or anyone that feels like their blood sugar is dropping too low, so these students should consume snacks. Students today are coddled, as they are classified into many different groups according to the behavior that they exhibit. Some of these groups include ESE – Exceptional Student Education, EBD – Emotional and Behavioral Disorders, VE – Varying Exceptionalities, ID – Intellectual Disabilities, ASD – Autistic Syndrome Disorder, along with gifted, Economically Disadvantaged and bilingual students. When I was of school age, there were no such thing as snack machines and they definitely would not have been located in schools. I loved the ‘Graduate’ plastic verses snack reference.

    • Thanks for your reply. I’m writing a little tongue and cheek here. However, appreciate your valid concerns. However, I’m clearly talking about childhood and adolescent obesity. That is probably a bigger problem than all the other things combined.

Blather away, if you like.

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