Dad and The Pastor; It’s Not Hemorrhoids – Part 12

(Continued from yesterday.)

Bowden crossed his arms and leaned forward on the tires of the tractor. He looked into the wind blowing waves of wheat. “I don’t know. I simply don’t know. I ask questions I can’t possible answer. And I come here and we talk and I get answers.”

“No,“ Dad said, “you’re a pompous, aristocratic, intellectual snob, don’t pull humility on me. You’re not getting sympathy here.”

“Damn, you,” Bowden said.

“Well I’m glad to see others give form to primal grunts of frustration other than myself,” Dad said.

Bowden walked toward is car, but there was a slight hesitation in one of his steps.

“You want me to beg you to stay, don’t’ you?” Dad said.

Bowden stopped and turned to Dad. “I don’t need you or you sarcasm. Your hatred for the church is known and blasphemous.”

“Why do you come!” Dad said.

“To save your soul!” Bowden said.

“Than tell me what you think!” Dad said.

“I told you, I don’t know!” Bowden yelled.

“Okay,” Dad said “Here it is.”

Bowden walked back to Dad. Dad pulled two rags from his pocket. He laid the clean one on the ground. “Sit down so you don’t get grass stains on your behind.”

“Why don’t I sit on the tractor and you sit on the rag?” Bowden said.

“There’s two reasons” Dad said. “It’s all about positioning. In case you never noticed you always try to take the higher posture. You imagine it gives you some sort of psychological edge.”

“I’m older Bowden said.

“And it’s harder for you to climb up on things,” Dad said.

“You said you had two reasons,” Bowden said.

“Probably most important,” Dad said. “When I sit on the ground I have hemorrhoids the next day or so.”

So they assumed there positions; Bowden sitting on the ground and Dad on the seat of the tractor.

Dad stroked his chin. “Of all the qualities God possesses which is most outstanding?”

“Love,” Bowden said. “The scriptures says ’God is love.’

“That is the one I shall work on,” Dad said.

“But has God always been love?” Bowden said.

“Has there ever been a time when you were not an is?” Dad said.

“Well sure,” Bowden said. “Before I was born and after I die.”

“But for the sake of what you have propounded we can eliminate one,” Dad said. “Because immortality has been granted.”

“Wait, now,” Bowden said. “We’re talking about you not me.”

“No,” Dad said. “This conversation and question has been about you from your days in seminary, it has been with you all through your teaching career, and sucks on you like a parasite until this very minute.”

“Preposterous!” Bowden said. “I’m a man of the cloth.”

“The absence of a flat-out ‘no’ leaves me with ‘yes,’” Dad said. “I notice you shifting your weight. Pray it’s just being uncomfortable and not hemorrhoids. The devil in me says I should pray for both.”

“That begs the question was there something before God?” Bowden said.

“That’s you begging,” Dad said. “Not me. It is resolved in my mind. The 90th Psalm ‘He is from everlasting to everlasting.’”

“But God has improved,” Bowden said. “That would indicate some sort of a beginning.”

“How has God improved?” Dad said incredulously.

(Continued tomorrow.)


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