Skinning A Cat

thV1DOK3X5An Odd Trio

Today, you can write about whatever you what — but your post must include, in whatever role you see fit, a cat, a bowl of soup, and a beach towel.

“It’s going to be on of those days,” JD said to Mitch sitting at the counter as he poured his coffee.

JD was owner/operator/cook/sometimes waiter/what ever else at The JD’s G’rill, home of the gorilla burger.

“How’s that,” Mitch said.

“Two of my girls called in,” JD said. “Gonna have to run the place by myself. Folks at the tables will have to give me their orders at the counter, get their table and come back and pick it up when I call it out.”

“Just like it was in the old days, right?” Mitch said.

“I was younger then,” JD said. “I’m getting too old for this crap. I just like to run the grill. I don’t like to deal with the weirdos they have these days.”

“Times are changing,” Mitch said.

“A guy and gal comes in here the other day,” JD said. “Looked like they just walked out of a freak show. His earlobes are stretched nearly down to his shoulder and the babe he’s with had more metal on her face than I got silverware in this joint. They sat down and people moved away from them.”

“What did you do?” Mitch said.

“I offered them a free meal if they’d ate it elsewhere,” JD said. “They acted downright insulted and left. It was a win, win situation.”

“If ya want me to I can take some orders for ya,” Mitch said. “You know work the tables during the rush.”

“No thanks,” JD said. “Remember the last time you did that I almost got sued.”

“The guy had it coming to him,” Mitch said in defense, “he was acting like a jerk.”

“But you didn’t have to call him a shrimp,” JD said.

“How was I to know he was vertically challenged,” Mitch said displaying quotations with his fingers. “He was sitting down. I couldn’t tell his legs were like sawed off tree trunks.”

“Keep it down,” JD said.

“Why, the only guy in here is ole Elroy over at the window and the only thing wrong with him is he ain’t got but one testicle,” Mitch said.

JD suddenly looked up. A woman walked in, she was wearing nothing but a beach towel wrapped tight an pulled up around he neck. She sat next to Mitch. As Mitch looked at her a cat poked its head from the towel.

“I’m looking for work,” she said. “I’m a waitress.”

“Look,” JD said. “If you got nothin’ on under that towel but the cat you’re gonna hafta go; this is a family place.”

She let down her towel. She was fully dressed in a waitress uniform.

“You’re hired,” JD said. “But the cat has to go.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mitch said.

“That’s nice of you, mister,” she said. “What do I owe you?”

“Just get me a bowl of soup,” Mitch said.

“Get the man his soup,” she said. “Take it out of my pay.”

Mitch jerked as he saw what looked like the couple JD described earlier walk in.  “There they are,” Mitch said, “the weirdos you told me about. How ya gonna get rid of them this time?”

JD winked and said loudly, “Sure ma’am I’ll take the cat. I’m mean how many difficult ways can there be to skin one. Looks like soup de jour is cat.”

The couple looked at each other. “That is sick,” he said and they hurried away.

“How many ways can you skin a cat,” Mitch said.

“As many ways as there are to get rid of weirdos,” JD said.





Blather away, if you like.

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