“How are you doing today, my sister,” Randy said right after he cued the camera man to start taping.
Elsie smiled and said shyly. “Am I being filmed?”
“Yes you are, my dear sister,” Randy said with a sickening sweet compassionate humility.
“Are you somebody famous,” Elsie said.
“Some may think I am,” Randy said, “but I’m only a humble servant of the lord.”
“How do you explain the camera?” Elsie said.
“It’s merely to help others experience the power of the lord,” Randy said. “Technology is a wonderful thing. It can bring many to the lord.”
“I often wonder how Jesus got it all done without a press secretary or CNN?” Elsie said.
“Well, today, my dear sister,” Randy said, “we are going to confess our sins and meet and accept Jesus. “Will you do that with me?”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Elsie said. “And I’m a little uncomfortable about telling the world my sins.”
“We can forget that part,” Randy said. “the lord isn’t interested in sin he’s interested in souls. He’s the great physician. A doctor’s practice is made up of sick people who continually need help. So in a way god wants us to sin. I keeps him busy. We wouldn’t want god running around doing nothing. We have to give him something to work with.”
“So sin is good?” Elsie said.
“Well I wouldn’t go that far,” Randy said. “But it’s not all the bad either.”
“So I can do all I want?” Elsie said.
“Yes,” Randy said. “God has to practice forgiveness.”
“What about morality?” Else said. “Shouldn’t we be moral?”
“Morality is like a pair of shoes,” Randy said, “everybody has them, at first they don’t fit, then they become comfortable, but eventually we look for new ones and they never quite fit anyone else’s feet.”
“That’s clever and appealing,” Elsie said, “but clever and appealing doesn’t feed the cow. It only makes it easy to remember.”
“Ma’am,” Randy said, “have you anything better than the saving grace of the gospel?”
“Once again,” Elsie smile, “grace can be put into any sentence and it sounds appealing, but we are speaking about morals. Morals are like the feet that fit in the shoes.
They are measured by a standard. They are what makes us run from badness or walk with God. They tell us which shoe is too big, which is to small, and which fits just right. Humans depend on them like no other being. They take care of them like no other being. And if not properly attended to grow fungus and stink. Thus, sir, I suppose your morals smell no better than your feet.”
Randy’s smile fell from his face. He walked away and leaned into the camera man. “See if we can edit any of that and if not, destroy it.”