Monthly Archives: May 2014

Academics Love Miserable Weather

Climate Control

The idea that the weather and people’s moods are connected is quite old. Do you agree? If yes, how does the weather affect your mood?

The weather affects people’s moods to the extent they allow it. If weather was a factor the people in Seattle and London would be miserable. Yeah, there are studies that might support that hypotheses, but it was largely financed by miserably academics who dedicate their lives to finding misery no matter where it lurks and if not, invent it.

Academics love rainy days and bad weather. You give them a bad day and a coffee shop and they’re as happy a high school dropout with a bag of weed and two six packs of Bud Light in a trailer park on a Friday night.

My short story for the day is the Part five of Class Reunion.

 

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Class Reunion – Part 5

(Continued from yesterday.)

Mary Meets an Old Friend

“Hey, hey, Mary. It’s Cindy Weinstein.”

“Cindy!” Mary said. “Look at you, you’re still blonde.”

“And thin!” Cindy said.

“You sure look better than the two heifers at the door,” Mary said.

“You mean Melissa and Carla,” Cindy said. “They tried to send me across the hallway to another class reunion.”

“So are you up for this?” Mary said.

“Forget them,” Cindy said. “What about you, haven’t seen you sense graduation.”

“Yeah,” Mary said. “We kind of lost contact. I never thought that would happen.”

“Me too,” Cindy said. “You don’t know how many times I thought about getting in touch. What are you doing and where are you living?”

“Well,” Mary said. “Single, human resource manager for a hospital in New York, and I have small home on Long Island. What about you?”

“I married a rancher from Montana,” Cindy said. “Got six kids a 15 hundred head of cattle. I wished we hand less kids and more cattle.”

“A ranch in Montana!” Mary said. “How’d that happen?”

“Well,” Cindy said happily. “Went to college in Chicago, got knocked up by a gorgeous senior whose dad owned a 20 thousand acres in Montana. I’m living the dream.”

“Is you hunk with you?” Mary said.

“He’ll be here in awhile,” Cindy said. “His name is Preston, but they call him Tree. You’ll see what I mean; he’ll be the one in boots and a cowboy hat. He’s 7 foot with his hat and boots.”

Mary laughed.

“No,” Cindy said, “he’s around 6’6” in his socks.”

“You bring the kids,” Mary said.

“Are you kidding me,” Cindy said. “Between the cow shit under their finger nails and competitive farting we thought we might leave them at home with grandpa, after all he’s the influence for their uncouth behavior.”

“Sounds like you have an interesting life,” Mary said.

“That’s an understatement,” Cindy said.

“Boys and girls?” Mary said.

“Three each,” Cindy said and smiled softly. “They’re great kids. I named one of them Mary.”

“I hope she’s not shy like I used to be,” Mary said.

“She!” Cindy said. “That’s one of the boys.”

They laughed and chatted. Until cowboy boots and cowboy hat walked up. He had a smile as wide as a Montana sky.

“I’m Preston,” he said.

“Yeah,” Mary said, “I figured that out.”

“Oh,” Preston said, “the boots and the hat.”

“No,” Mary said, “I smelled the cow shit as soon as you walked in.”

Preston grinned at Mary. “I thought you said nobody here would talk like us. She’s practically family.

Cindy introduced them and they continued to talk.

“Your husband with you?” Preston said.

“I’m not married,” Mary said.

“Ya want me ta cut the herd and find ya something,? Preston said motioning to the crowd. “I’m a good judge of cowhands. Come to think of it they all look soft. Not enough time on the range.”

“You two are so improbable,” Mary said. “Cindy when did you know.”

“When I missed my period,” Cindy said.

“Seriously,” Mary said, “when?”

“I had a good idea when we first talked,” Cindy said. “Like in five minutes.”

“What about you, Preston?” Mary said.

“Well after I stalked her for a week,” Preston smiled. “It was the same five minutes. I hopped on an elevator just to get near her and talk to her. Just to get close to her.”

“Elevator,” Mary said.

“Yeah,” Cindy said, “we first met on an elevator.”

“It’s strange,” Mary said. “I got on the elevator an hour ago. There was this guy who got on it with me. It was kind and sweet and very handsome. We talked on the ride up. We both thought we were going to the same reunion. His was across the hallway. I felt like I knew every thing about him. Did you guys have that connection?”

“If ya want me to,” Preston said. “Just give me a good description and I’ll go over there and bring him back for ya.”

“Mary Jones,” a voice said from behind Mary.

(Continued tomorrow.)

 

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The Vision To Write

Futures Past

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How close or far are you from that vision?

When a young boy being in the Major Leagues was my dream. It was sometime about that time a seed was planted. I try to remember the moment; over the years I’ve been able to come up with several moments, but I wanted to write. And it was never with the goal of making a living at it, but rather writing for the love of it. Over the years I’ve written just for myself. In the early 90s a couple of short stories were published, but when the Internet and Al Gore came along, along with it the ability to publish your own work; I plied my vision.

At any rate, here is the link to my 4th episode of a short story entitled Class Reunion.

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Class Reunion – Part 4

Mary’s Class

(Continued from yesterday.)
Mary Jones wore a smile as she stepped into the Seascape Banquet Room. It was a pleasant and amusing encounter.

Next to the door at a card table was Melissa Perkins and Carla Webster.

“Is your husband in our class?” Melissa said.

“Still not the brightest bulb on the tree are you?” Mary said. “I’m Mary Jones.”

“Are you sure you got the right room?” Carla said. “Central is having their reunion across the hallway.”

“Nor were you the sharpest pencil in the box,” Mary said. “And please no more stupid comments, I only have two stupid metaphors to use.”

Carla paged through a binder. “Oh here you are. You haven’t changed, not even your hair style.”

“And dress,” Melissa added and snickered.

“Yeah,” Mary said. “All my cloths still fit me.”

They handed her a name tag. Mary started to pin it on.

“Let me take care of that.”

It was Stewart Kirkendall, the class hunk and now the class chunk.

“You’re getting no where near my breast,” Mary said.

“It’s now or later,” Stewart said.

“Handle your own,” Mary said. “You got enough.”

“You were always a pathetic skank,” Stewart said. “We tried to pay Harold Phillips to go out with you.”

Mary smiled broadly and shoved Stewart playfully in the chest. “I support you 100% Stewart. This is as good of a night as any to come out. Be proud you’re gay.”

Stewart looked around to see who heard what Mary said. At least 10 people turned and stared at him.

“I’m not really…” Stewart stuttered. “Mary was just kidding. We all remember what a great sense of humor she had, right!”

Mary looked at everyone. “Offered him the key to my room; said that ain’t for him anymore.”

Mary walked to the other side of the room. She watched Stewart try to explain things, but many were already congratulating him for his courage.

She stood for awhile and automatically assumed the pose she found herself in many years ago, blending into the surroundings. She almost felt herself shrivel.

Suddenly she felt pathetic just as Stewart said.

She thought about the man she just met, Robert and hoped it was going better for him. She thought that before she withers away why not go across the hallway and find Robert.

(Continued tomorrow.)

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Three Questions – No Clue, No Answer

Trick Question

A Pulitzer-winning reporter is writing an in-depth piece – about you. What are the three questions you really hope she doesn’t ask you?

1. How much do you make?

2. How much do you pay in taxes?

3. Why don’t you buy a better car?

Here is the link to the third installment of my short story Class Reunion.

 

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Class Reunion – Part 3

(Continued from yesterday.)

Just An Old Friend

“Robert,’ Peggy said. “You’ve probably have heard this a dozen times tonight, but you have not changed one bit.”

“Well,” Robert said. “Not in those exact words, but the sentiments were expressed in one fashion or another.”

“I remember you,” Peggy said. “There is something behind those words that are witty.”

“Yep,” Robert said.

“Robert,” Peggy said, “this is my husband Dan.”

They shook hands.

“So you’re the guy that broke my little Peggy’s heart,” Dan said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Robert said. “I… Oh yeah. I almost forgot. I was supposed to pick Peggy up and take her bowling with a few friends and my car broke down.”

“So it must have been true,” Peggy said.

“Sure it was true,” Robert said.

“You got to be kidding me,” Peggy said, “after all these years I thought you made that all up cause you didn’t want to go out with me.”

“Frankly,” Robert said, “I thought you sounded relieved I wasn’t coming.”

“That was my hard to get voice,” Peggy said.

They chatted for five minutes; laughing and reminiscing.

“Where is your wife?” Peggy said, “or are you alone.”

“Never been married and I’m alone,” Robert said, “but don’t feel sorry for me. I have a good life. I’m doing okay. I’m a business owner and Bernie Sarno wants me to hire him.”

They laughed.

“Look, Robert,” Dan said. “Peggy has said so many good things about you, I feel as if I know you.” He turned to Peggy. “Don’t you think my sister, Kate, and him would make a good couple?”

“Dan!” Peggy said, “that’s bold and rude, but they would make a good couple.”

“I’m fine,” Robert said. “Really, I appreciate it.”

“You’re not gay are you?” Peggy said.

“No,” Robert said.

“Peggy!” Dan said, “that’s not the kind of question you ask.”

“Well I was afraid I was the one who made him that way,” Peggy said.

“Which I’m not,” Robert added. “Let’s make sure that’s on record.”

“There’s some other people I want to catch up with,” Peggy said. “Do you mind visiting for a while on you own, but before the night is over perhaps we can go some place for a meal?”

“Sure,” Robert said, “but if you don’t see me don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t talk that way,” Dan said, “we would really like to spend some time with you.”

“What if I bring Tina O’Conner,” Robert nodded to the dance floor where Tina was dancing badly with one drink in her hand.

“I don’t think you will be able to get her off the dance floor,” Dan said.

“For a free meal I can,” Robert said.

“What did I tell you?” Peggy said. “Next to you, the funniest guy I know.”

“It was either me or Don Rickles,” Dan said.

Peggy and Dan blended into the crowd and Robert headed for the exit.

(Continued tomorrow.)

 

 

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Party Animal

thW23UQUX3Mutants and Hybrids

If you were one part human, two parts something else — another animal, a plant, an inanimate object — what would the other two parts be?

This is a pretty stupid prompt. It sounds like something offered to my grandson’s 5th grade class. I’m giving it an adult response; one part me, one part scotch, one part soda. Now I’m a party animal.

Here’s the second part of my short story Class Reunion.

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