Sales Call


Junk Food Junkie

What’s your biggest junk food weakness? Tell us all about it in its sugary, salty, glory.

Ice cream. Homemade brand, peanut butter chocolate chip. Not available in Idaho. Have only had it in Michigan and Ohio. I’ve considered making a marijuana run to back east and trading a trunk full of pot for a gallon of peanut butter chocolate chip. On second thought two gallons, I need something to bribe the police with if I get stopped.

Anyway, dream-on. Here is my short story for the day:

 Sales Call

“Who is this?”

“It’s Bob from Express TV.”

“I have Saucer TV.”

“I can save you money.”

“How much money?”

“$25 a month, that’s $300 a year.”

“What would that be for two years.”

“We over charge the second year and get our $300 back.”

“Why should I change from Saucer TV to Express TV.”

“I’ve been honest.”

“What if I take Express TV for a year and cancel, what will it cost?



“That’s right, nothing. But we will make your life miserable.”


“We’ll ruin your credit and hound you the rest of your living days.”

“So once again why should I change from Saucer TV to Express TV?”

“Because I’m honest.”

“How is the reception and service?”

“At first it’s really good.”

“Then what happens?”


“What kind of problems?”

“Big problems. It will be days before you get reception again.”

“So if that’s going to happen why should I switch from Saucer TV to express TV?”

“Because I’ve been honest.”

“What about the service?”

“You want to know about the service?”

“That’s what I said.”

“There is none. The last time you’ll see anything that resembles service is at installation and poof, they get deported or have to serve out the rest of their sentence for parole violation.”

“So if that’s going to happen why should I switch from Saucer TV to Express TV?”

“Because I’ve been honest.”

“Have you lied to me about anything during this phone call?”

“My name is not Bob, it‘s Bill”

“I can’t trust you Bill: here, I thought all along I was talking to Bob, Goodbye.”




  1. This is brilliant! I love it 🙂 I know someone who always comes up with creative new ways to get rid of sales people. Their best idea was ‘I have to go, the baby has explosive diarrhoea’ haha that time the salesperson didn’t make the usual ‘it will only take a few minutes’ speech. I love the honest salesman idea though 🙂

  2. Way too true. Too bad corporations put outrageous resources into exploiting and harassing clients, instead of earning their loyalty. I miss the old days.

Blather away, if you like.

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