What Is The Day Before Black Friday Called?

Black Friday, when commons sense, courtesy, and humanity are thrust aside for Wide-screens, Smart-phones, and I-Pads.

I’ve noticed a subtle change over the years; the Thanksgiving sales have become Black Friday Sales. Is Thanksgiving on its way out to be replaced by Black Friday? It makes sense. Businesses and industries will no longer give Thanksgiving Thursday off along with the rest of the weekend; giving employees four days. By eliminating Thanksgiving Thursday in favor of Black Friday employees will receive only three days off.

Clever, would you not agree? Why am I the only one taking note of this obvious conspiracy? I’m certain the Walton family is behind this (no, not John-boy’s Walton, Sam’s Walton). They once had the help of Bush and Cheney and now Obama is one Supreme Court nominee away from finalizing it.

Let’s Talk About Black Friday

Black Friday proves one thing; greed rules and people are crazy. (I guess that’s two.)

There was one family who said pitching their tent at the front door of Best Buy had become a family tradition. What! Are their ancestors Bedouins? Aren’t there laws against that? Isn’t that how they got rid of the “Occupy” protestors? I’m beginning to wonder if the “Occupy” people weren’t greedy consumers just trying to get in shape for Black Friday.

Every year somebody gets trampled to death when the doors open at Wal-Mart or Target. Next year that may be an advertising slogan; “People are dying to shop at…”

Whenever I see the stampede at retail stores when the doors open for Black Friday I’m left with little doubt in my mind why so many people didn’t make it to the life boats on the Titanic.

At one time Black Friday business hours were the same as the other days of the year. Then some retail genius came along and said, “Doors will open one hour early on the day after Thanksgiving.” Next it was, “Doors open at six…” Last year doors were open for business at midnight. Mind you, most of the people lined up at the doors and stampeding into the store have hard time showing up for their shift at Taco Bell.

Many stores will open while the Thanksgiving meal is still digesting in their stomachs. I’m wondering if Thanksgiving shouldn’t be called ‘the day before Black Friday’ or maybe ‘Gray Thursday.’ Perhaps Thanksgiving can be moved back a few days or even a week. Actually many are calling it Brown Thursday.

Black Friday; It May Be A Condition

Maybe just eliminate Thanksgiving altogether. After all I don’t think Black Friday is the problem, it’s the day before that gets in the way of mankind’s insatiable appetite to be the first to get a wide-screen or the latest x-box game. (See how easy it was for me to buy into the Walton’s scheme?)

People are really nasty on Black Friday. They have pent-up aggression from watching football and disappointment over somebody else getting the last piece of pumpkin pie. Their only outlet is Black Friday. There is a real diagnosis, it’s called Suppressed Thanksgiving Uncontrolled Panic Induced Disorder (STUPID).

Look for the American Psychiatric Association to classify it as a mental disorder that can’t be cured. So let’s embrace it and define the real cause as the day before Black Friday. Finally a disorder not blamed on strict or over-indulgent parenting.

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5 comments

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