Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?
There is nothing more energizing and refreshing than being with a group of friends. They are people you know and trust. They understand the reason for a gathering is to refresh one another.
Normally before accepting an invitation to a party I know who will to be there. If not, I ask. My circle of friends feel the same why so there is little chance of anyone being at the party who might cause anyone to feel uncomfortable.
Thus I feel safe at parties I’m invited to because there is a reasonable expectation of civility and refreshment. All social gatherings I attend alcohol is the least feature of the evening if at all. Alcohol can ruin a good time.
When attending a large public gathering I am as cautious about with whom attending. With the crowd in general it is impossible to know who will behave themselves and who will not.
My radar is always on full alert; rowdy, inebriated, and uncouth elements are given distance. For example I will stand and watch a sporting event rather than sit with a bunch of drunks or people who can’t behave.
I have seldom attended a musical concert. People don’t know how to be respectful at them. If going to a concert I’m there for one reason, to hear the music and not to add or detract from to anyone else’s enjoyment.
I must relate a dream that expresses what it feels like to be invited to a party that you are completely uncomfortable and painfully aware you don’t belong:
It was New York City in the late 80’s. I rode alone on an elevator. It stopped at a floor and the doors opened. In front of me and across a hallway was a door to an apartment.
As I raised my hand to knock the soft sound of music and chatter with occasional polite laughter came from the other side.
I knocked. The door opened. The smile of the hostess was big, warm, and friendly. It was Carly Simon.
“I have been expecting you,” she said with a peck on the cheek (that’s as sexy as my dream gets) She locked her arm with mine and brought me into her apartment.
It was filled with people dressed in formal attire. Clearly I was out of my element.
“I’ll get back with you in bit,” she said. “But please, introduce yourself to my guest and mingle a bit; get acquainted. You’ll love my friends and they’ll love you.” She started to walk away, but turned and smiled broadly, “I’m so glad you came.”
I felt special.
Carly left me on my own.
I saw a group of four or five people standing and talking. They conversed, smiled, and laughed. I approached them and they looked at me like I was the plumber there to fix the sink. They turned away. Maybe it was private I thought, after all Carley said they were nice.
I tried the same with another group and got the same reaction, likewise with a third. ’I’ll stay and put up with it, but only because Carly and I are friends.’
I stood alone in the middle of the room. Suddenly the first cords of You’re So Vain reverberated over the crowd. I looked in the direction of the music. The people parted. Carly walked slowly toward me and began to sing, “You’re so vain, I s’pose you think this dream is about you?”
I woke up and said, “You’re darn right it’s about me.”
This dream comes from fear of parties and the unknown.
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