Some Things (Most Things) Are Best Unsaid

A mustache doesn't make you mature, you just look silly.
A mustache doesn’t make you mature, you just look silly.

Daily Prompt: All Grown Up

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Like everyone I felt grown long before really being grown.

Just when you feel you have matured something or someone comes along and proves otherwise.

Recently a time came to mind when fifteen years old. My parents were in a terrible argument. It went on for hours; threats, cursing, counter-threats, grievances ( past, present, the future) suspicions, hurt feelings, etc.

At one point Mom packed some cloths and tossed them in the car. She backed out of the garage and abruptly pulled back in. Dad was sitting in a chaise lounge in the yard. She stormed past him with bags in hand. “You’re the one leaving. This house is in my name and my name alone.”

Dad sat there nursing a cold beer. I talked to him for about a half hour and did the same with Mom. I got them to sit down at the kitchen table together with me as a mediator. I felt terribly important and good about myself. They began to make up and apologize.

With my mission accomplished a new feeling of self-worth and pride came over me. Just before leaving the room I added, “There now, if a fifteen year old kid can help you two get along you should be able to do it on your own.” I had to have the last word to make certian to whom to give the credit.

That was pretty much the wrong thing to say. There is not one thing that will make combatants sue quicker for peace than a common foe. Dad and Mom turned on me like a pack of hungry dogs.

I’ve come to a universal truth; you are never truly grown up until you feel there is no longer the need to take credit for what you do, have the final word, or last laugh.

Many centuries ago a Psalmist wrote “… Have YOUR say in YOUR heart, upon YOUR bed and keep silent.” (Psalm 4:4)

Other all grown up bloggers:



  1. Well done and a great response to this prompt. It had me sad and cringing, but I also had to laugh a little at the end. You make a good point!!

  2. Nice post – I like your universal truths. Very, ummm, true! Thanks for the pingback (again).
    Here’s a checklist of attributes of maturity from my post today:
    Knowing myself.
    Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don’t.
    Admitting when I’m wrong and making amends.
    Accepting love from others, even if I’m having a tough time loving myself.
    Recognizing that I always have choices and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
    Seeing that life is a blessing.
    Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
    Forgiving myself and others.
    Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
    Having the courage to live one day at a time.
    Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
    Caring for people without having to take care of them.
    Accepting that I’ll never be finished – I’ll always be a work-in-progress.

  3. Kenton,
    Do you find yourself as an older negotiator now?
    I was the person who would say the last word, too. That usually got me in hot water.
    Thanks for the pingback. It’s my first one, I think.

  4. […] Day Twelve: Increase Your Commenting Confidence Today’s task: read six posts written in response to the same prompt, and leave comments on at least two of them. I got a bit carried away with this one. I kept going from one click to the next, reading through a wide range of perspectives from freshly independent students to parents with children of their own. It was really interesting to see how the idea of “grown up” can morph as one grows older. I wrote brief comments in parentheses by the blogs I left comments on. THE [BERLIN] BOOK Am I a Geek? The World’s a Fire Me-Who Am I? Kosher Adobo Julie Powell tylershepard1991 Pepper Connection (this post was bittersweet, and it made me think about the evolution of parent-child relationships) What Does Nelkumi Think? (this post had a refreshing interpretation of growing up) The Jittery Goat […]

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