There is a crisis and where there is crises there is opportunity.
The world is going paperless. Ebooks are replacing hardbacks and paperbacks. Newsweek stopped its printed edition in favor of going online. Newspaper subscriptions are down. Banking is being done online. Bills are paid the same way. Which leads me to wonder what if the toilet paper industry goes paperless? I don’t even want to think about it.
We used to do all sorts of things with the discarded paper. A newspaper could be rolled up and used swat flies. Paper could be used for painting projects to prevent damage from spills and splatters. They make an excellent blanket for drunks who sleep it off on park benches or bus stops.
The best use was to line the bottom of the bird-cage. Sure going paperless is good for the environment, but what about my bird poop!
Currently I’m looking for some forward-looking and aggressive investors to invest in my company called, Dirty Birdie Cage Page, the finer liner. (that‘s only a working title). I’m negotiating a contract with NPR to reprint all their useless information on paper. I then package it and sell it as bird-cage liner. I have an immediate audience. NPR listeners have proportionally more pet birds than the general population. There are fifteen listeners nationwide and ten of them have birds.
NPR is happy to see the extra revenue, because of shrinking public support and less government funding. After I take my greedy cut the rest goes to the forward-looking and aggressive investors.
Just send five one hundred-dollar bills. Remember cash only (I‘m not paperless). Think of it as stimulus money for the faltering paper industry.