You are at a stop light, the light turns green, and the driver in front of you doesn’t move. Their head is slumped and you are about to see if the person is okay. You look more intently and see them lift a cell phone to eye level to proof read their text. You give them short blast with your horn. They push ‘send,’ look indignantly in the review mirror, and proceed like you’re a road raged, pistol packin’ crazed, red neck. (If that describes you, sorry.)
You make it out to the interstate and the person in front of you is weaving like they got a fifth of Jack Daniels tucked between their legs. You want to quickly get around them so you don’t have to witness the mayhem they are about to unleash on the Department of Transportation, State Highway Patrol, local volunteer fire department, and Jud’s Wrecking Service. As you pass you notice the driver is texting the complete works of Shakespeare; probably at the line, “To sleep, perchance to dream.”
Another distraction, to me, is those stupid-acting sign wavers. Really!
There was this guy dressed in a sombrero and poncho running up and down the curb. I thought he was an illegal who escaped from his coyote captors.
I stopped. “Get in amigo. I’ll take you to safety.”
“Dude, keep moving. You’re blocking my sign. The boss will think I’m talking to my Dad and fire me. He keeps coming by here and telling me, ‘I paid for a college education for you to wave a sign? Go, please go.”
Sign wavers are a distraction and scourge. They should be outlawed.
If you rear-end somebody is reading the bumper sticker a plausible defense? If you have a bumper sticker you’re only asking for it.
Most are funny, some are pathetic; like the Kerry/Edwards 2004 election bumper sticker. There was always something wrong with attaching patriotic bumper stickers to a car. What’s the first thing that gets hit?
The ones that proclaim their kid is an honor roll student are so self-promoting. What if that kid ends up being a drop-out and never lives up to expectations? What will their future be; get a documentary film producer pregnant, cover it up, pay her off, and go to jail? That’s what not living up to bumper sticker expectations can do for you.With all the hoopla about texting and driving don’t you think it’s high time to outlaw sign wavers and bumper stickers too?
Here is a link to other causes worthy of crashing into the car in front of you.